So much for all my writing helping me sleep since it all just deleted! :( n I'm in to much pain to write it all over again! I'm hurting so god dam much I can't do it anymore :( I'm trying my hardest to not cause anymore scars, as I always say why cause more scars when the ones you have arnt finished healing? The only reason I havnt ended my life is because my mom doesn't deserve to go through that, same with my boyfriend who lost his father to suicide. I feel trapped , I need help :( oh god this pain is killing me :( went to bed crying n woke up at 3am still crying :( he's not even here for me for the third time .... I'm scared n don't know what to do anymore, I have my happy moments but sad always beats them.
My mood: extremely Hurting
im baaackkk! after how many weeks maybe months, well anyway my friend Delorius is bugging the hell out of me , she wont leave my hair alone!!!! "because it needs to get fixed"shes says, but i say NOOO and she still keeps brading it and putting it in poney tails, i might as well shave it all off and give it to her to play with, or cut my head off and give it to her , ( who needs a head anyway?) greaaat! she is now saying "hello mate" in an accent , which is kindof funny, but anywho she keeps doing up my hair the taking it down, then putting it back up, its like god enough is enough already!!! AHHH(she's burning my face with the straightener!!!) somebody help me!!
Im writing this well im in school rightnow, Im Feeling lonely like a loner , bored cause thier is nothin fun when in computer class, iom in pain because of my toe , and i feel like bursting out crying in the middle of class, (i wont) ugh i was having a panic attack in wanting to go in the bathroom and start cutting my arm (i didn't) but god i can't wait to get home , be lazy and go to bed or read ( i know how boreing) well thats all im saying today bye and welcome to my boreing life :p
Hmmmm don't really no what to say .... well i havn't been on here in months(because i moved to a new town , getting used to a new school and all that)sigh i pretty much a loner except for my new friend, and yea, i got 3 beard dragons now , and a baby tortise named Dory. wow i this like the first post that i havn't yelled or screamed ... or is it the second???? maybe it's just because im sick. well today im only to houses down from my house ( i was walking to school) then i started groning because i forgot my lunch (just water and a pop tart , teeth still sore to eat anything eles) and for no reason my eyes got all watery , and i was to lazy just to turn around, so i pretty much crying and being mad at my self for the rest of the way , (im so emotional when im sick , and im also very stupid when sick for example the last time i was sick i misspelled the word believe 3or4 times!!! and i think i just misspelled it again!)
any way whats new with.... who every is reading this? and yes im boring lol
well byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee from me!
My mood: pretty sick
i met my dream guy , he was cute and funny, sadly, it was just a dream.....DAMEIT! i dont even know his name geez this suck's to have a crush on a guy , that doesnt even exist, bahhhhhhh i feel like screaming and crying at the same time....
i'll explain the dream in that dream journal thing.Great Dream party?travel? Emo?
(my dream dude is the guy i'm running around with looking for emo's)
K dont worry im not going to start going crazy this time.
i have this habit that sometimes i start without realizeing it , its weird, like you know a the shape of a room , all of a sudden ill stare at a corner and start shaping it out, like you stare at a square and you use your eye and go down from one corner to the next, then go right to the next one , then up ,and back to the first corner, you get what im saying right? well i do that then i stare at the next wall and do the same thing, i do that too every wall till im back to were i started, but it feels like im useing my gut some how? like left side right side left side and so on, so inventually well im doing that stare thing around the room, it feels like pressure or im like pulling a mussel ,or like im getting tired, "are you following so far?" later on maybe im looking at a word i start spelling it out with my eyes, like writing the letter ex)"o" circle your eyes. again i start feeling tired before i finish the word ,like pressure or pulling a mussel... i dont know. one more thing if im just stareing into space or resting my eyes , i'll start to brethe a heart like when i brethe in im going up on one side of the heart, then when i brethe out im going down on the other side to finish it (sometimes i repeat over and over) same thing i get tired, feels like pressure, or mussel , i dont know,
i was watching a video on area 51 on youtube and this is what i think of "area 51"
i still dont get who makes these people the boss (cops,fbi,area 51) there is more of us then them!! i think area 51 is a bunch of ..."poop"! its just a bunch of machiens and stuff and their own flying saucer(not the alien ufo's just a flying object that looks like one but flown by a human) i donot think they hold aliens and stuff (i do belive in aliens and ufos tho) they think these "machiens" are so special they need to keep them secret which i donot think is fair because lots of people pretty much know whats going on down there, their like torturing us by making us wanna go crazy to find out what they are hiding, i think they enjoy it to ! thats all i have to say , "man i go crazy sometimes"
I'm finally done this year of school, i just finished my last exam!! Who like's school??? i know there are people who do but im not one of them i suck at school i don't see why we waste half our life there, then when we finally get our freetime were stuck doing homework!!! i understand we need to learn stuff but half that stuff we did this year was a waste of time !!!!! and some of the math questions like n+3=4 you obviously know the awnser right? for little kids the answer is 1 yes 1+3=4 but nooooo they make us do this big work out thing to show how we got the awnser waist of time i tell you!!! by the way i dont see why they dont just say 1 why do we have to say "n" or any other letter????? sorry i got carried away there, i should be celebrating the fact its the last day..... but i can't im soo tired from studing everyday, i got an ear infection (NOT FUN) and and and its to god dame hot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i should go now before i go overboard.
Welcome back to my.... what did i call this again?i forget. Oh well thats not important. Today im writing about Animal school, again , There is actully nothin much different then the last time.... and HEY! a girl just tried to steal my pencil write from my hand! Geez GET YOUR OWN PENCIL!!! I Bet'ch ya 5$ that one is going to ask me to borrow a pen or pencil or try and take one from my pencil case. Wait!!! I decided to change the subject. Insted of Animal school , I change it to "People who Steal Pens and Pencils"! Its perfect. Oh shoot I have to go now. Right when I had a great idea in my head "sigh..........."
Welcome back to My Writing Stuff!
Today im writing about animals! WAIT! I meant school kids. A.K.A Grades k-8. They are all like animals as in monkeys! and rhinos! and..and.. Well you get it.One time when the recess bell rang to go back inside. I fell at the doors and i got stampede on "ouch" i know sad and painful. Thats why i call some rhinos. Remember this all school. My own class is loud and bad! and were all grade seveners. Thats why i say their monkeys! For crying out loud! Its going on right now! well im writing this! SHUT UP!!!! woops sorry about that.....But they are going crazy, great one just did a big Burp, and another is stealing pens and pencils,and ....."sniff" Geez one just farted!!!! Man this is just to much! I should go now Bye.
Welcome back to my a... something something writing!
Lets see what should i write about today?? hum.....um.....I'm thinking....I'm thinking....I'M THINKING!! for crying out loud! you people say "take your time, slower is better" so when i do take my time everyone is pressuring me to hurry up! God Dame it! what do you people want!?!? I dont feel like arguing today,... I'm stressed out as it is! so i geuss im... just going to go now... okay?..Bye.
Hello , ahh I really dont know anything interesting to write. "sigh"
OH!OH! One time my cousin tried to kill me!!!! oh wait that was only a dream.
ummm....OH! I have another one! once my uncle,he...he..he stuffed me in a garbage can! and that was not a dream! and another time he "pretended" to beat me up in Giant Tiger, enought to push me under the shirt rackets! This just makes me want to sue Giant Tiger! a child is being abused and no one cares! (not that i was abused it just looked like that) and all the workers just looked at us and then kept walking away."Geeish!" if that was real i could of been searously ingured! but again my uncle was only FAKEING it. Hes cool tho lol . well im done so im going to go now bye!
Previous PostsI don't wanna do this anymore :(, posted November 29th, 2012
My friend is annoying my hair, posted March 9th, 2009
Feeling Bored , Lonely , and in pain!, posted November 5th, 2008
Feeling Sick , and bored, posted November 4th, 2008
Dream Guy, posted August 16th, 2008, 1 comment
A Werid Habit That Makes Me Tired., posted July 2nd, 2008
Area 51, posted June 26th, 2008
Finally! Huge Freak Out Aswell!, posted June 20th, 2008
My Writing Stuff ep.4 People who Steal Pens and Pencils, posted June 1st, 2008, 2 comments
My Writing Stuff ep.3 Animal School, posted June 1st, 2008, 1 comment
My Writing Stuff ep.2 Stressed Out, posted June 1st, 2008, 1 comment
My Writing Stuff ep.1, posted June 1st, 2008, 1 comment
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